Sometimes I scroll through tumblr with a “get off my lawn” frown. Today is one of those days. Get off my lawn.
Remember when my kid had RSV?
Yeah, well, now I have it. Except I’m a grown-ass man, so I can handle it a little better than her. Right? uhhhhhhhhhh make me some souuuuup.
Who wants some RSV?
Lucy has all of it, and I’m looking to get rid of it for her.
How much wine and beer can I charge to my room...
I don’t know, but let’s find out.
Only 15 per box? Come on, man.
Me: (Upon opening a box of girl scout cookies) That's it? Man, they really gyp you.
Friend: You know, that's offensive.
Me: What is? Gyp?
Friend: Yeah. It's a slur agains gypsies.
Me: Well, the amount of Samoas in this box is offensive to my fat ass.
cloudya asked: What are you doing up at this hour?
fifthand57th asked: What's the best thing about fatherhood? What is the worst thing? (Diapers don't count.)
raiselm asked: Where you been? We've missed you. Here's your complimentary fruit basket.
Meh. Whatever. I tried.
I feel like being ASSED a few questions →
The lives you people lead...
Good for you, with your fun and your friends and your free time and your traveling just for the hell of it and your exotic meals and your fancy beers. As you may be able to tell, I have nothing planned this weekend, nor do I have any spendin’ cash for merriment. But I have toffee crunch ice cream and a DVR full of shows I’ve yet to watch. So we’re even.