July 2009
10 posts
I Don't Even Like Cats
Well, I wouldn’t say that I don’t like them. It’s more that they don’t like me.
I’ve had cats in the past. Those sneaky little jerks hide just on the other side of a corner and wait for me come strollin’ along, whistlin’ a happy tune with my guard down. And when I do, it’s akin to an all-out kamikaze mission. They pop out like they’ve been...
I Like Free Stuff and I Cannot Lie
I like free stuff.
T-shirts. I have drawers full of free t-shirts. Promotional ones. T-shirts I’ve won in contests or scratch-offs or inside 30-packs of Labatt Blue Light. And I wear them. To cut the grass or to sit around the house. For the most part, you won’t see me around town sporting my Canadian Football League tee or my sleeveless Genny Light attire, but believe you me, I rock...
100 Days of Unemployment
I have lived in the great city of Richmond for nine years. In the last 100 days, I have met more people and made more professional and social connections than I have in the all the years past. This is all due to my unemployment, and mostly because of this blog and social networking functions like SMCRVA.
In this blog post, I’m going to give you some healthy advice on how to successfully...
My Job At The Lars, Hans & Svend Law Firm
For your amusement and reading enjoyment, I give you a detailed account of the dream I had last night:
So there I am, right? All business-casual with my oxford button down collar and flat-fronted khakis (because, really, pleats make you look like you’re carrying a sack of potatoes in your pants). And I’m in some very modern office building with dim lighting and fancy molding and...
This Is How I Do
I’ve had the past few days off from MallJob, which has enabled me to get some freelance writing done. I have managed to wake up early every morning, getting a majority of my work done by 11am. The rest of my day is spent barraging businesses with résumés and doing the dishes that Wifey leaves in the sink as a test to see if I will actually get something done because, hey, I’m home all...
I Miss Lunch
You know what I miss most about my old job?
Lunch.
My former place of employment is located downtown, walking distance to any of the city’s finest midday eateries. Feel like a Reuben? There’s a spot for that. Bowl of chili? Spot for that. Burrito? Yup, spot for that. Beer? Yes. A couple of spots for that, too.
It was a great way to break up the day and get some socializing done...
Looking Up?
One of us has an interview on Monday. It’s not me. It’s Wifey!
Yup, she has an interview at a school in Chesterfield County (that’s in the Richmond-metro area, for all you non-Richmonders) for teaching either kindergarten or 1st grade. This is big news because Virginia schools are supposedly *not* hiring teachers right now due to the craptastic economy and budget cuts and lack...
A Letter from Future Me
Dear Past Me:
Hey fatty! It’s me, You. You know, from the not-so-distant future? I bring tidings of employment and prosperity, as well as the iPhone 6G[q] with mobile holographic conferencing technology.
Remember when you were unemployed? Ha! What a loser you were with your depressing blogs and homemade haircuts and eating tuna from the can. It wasn’t even the solid white Albacore...
Request Denied: Cutting My Trip Short For $20
The last thing I want to do is complain about the little part time job I am fortunate enough to have, but anyone who works in retail will tell you that attempting to schedule time off around a holiday is like trying to get Amy Winehouse to go to rehab.
Ain’t gonna happen. No, no, no.
Originally, the 4th of July holiday weekend plans were for us to leave for Charlotte tonight and visit with...
